Most Shameful Things We've Done:

Ro: Threw up all over Tanya's Foyer. After having met her a half hour before. Oh, and got it on the doorknob AND Bryan's hand!

Vick: Kissed Tom. Made out with Tom. Hug, kiss, lick, etc. But all this after Rosie had done the same.

Ness: There was this guy that was hitting on her. A lot. He was also rather sleazy. And then she used his cell phone to call Clark in America, hehehehe.....

NO, YOU GUYS WILL NEVER FIND OUT WHO DID #7!!!!!

Favorite Memories:

Ro being hit in the leg with a porn mag at the Business Inn. (Ro, get online and elaborate this for me....I'm too lazy. Or better yet, Vick, do it for her.)

When Ness' baby monkey was attacked by sea urchin cobras.

YORKSHIRE PUDDINGS!!!!!!!! And Falafel.

R: How do you feel?
   : I falafel!

Hahahahahahahaha.....................

Oh God. And all those Panda Jokes.

LEE SHAMROCK IS MY HEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

aND aNDY. aLWAYS aNDY. <---- Ro will agree.

July 13th - Pattaya with Maylee, James, Bryan, Matt, Emily, Keith, Gerry, Lenny, Chris, etc......

No comment.

July 10th

3:00 pm

Ness: Ve vill be zere in a leetle beet, hoold on.
James: What the hell??????
Ness: Yez, yez, ve are almoost there.
James: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
Ness: Ve vill meet you at ze ticket office in an hour.
James: Alright. I vill bring ze secret documents.
Ness: Loofly.

8:30 pm

GOOD CHARLOTTE WAS COOL BUT FUTON OPENED AND THEY ARE AWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9:00 pm

Futon: Jailbait. Backseat. My car. GAY BOY! GGGGGGAAAAAAAAAY BOY!

(later)

Futon: MY Dead husband collection! temporary erection! rigor mortis....

12:00am

At Khao San

- Rosie is almost raped by creepy bulldike man who sucked her neck. ew.
- vicki drank 1/4 of a bucket
- Ness had to pretend to be a lesbian with maylee to fend off creepy guy who kept poking her with his beer. she did accept the ciggarette.
- Rosie got iranian men (about 45?) to buy us drinks.
- James waited outside.....

----------------------------------------------------------

July 11th

BEST NIGHT EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8:30pm Silom Night Market

N: so did you want to buy the guys back home some porn ro?
R: uhhhhhhhh sure.............
N: Ok. *pulls aside dodgy thai man holding flyers covered in pictures of dildos.* (in thai) do you have DVDS?
Dodgy man: yes. *leads the three girls down an alley and behind some clothing stalls. there is a card table set up. reaches behind table for a trash bag full of DVDs. lays porn out on table.*
V: oh my.
Dodgy man: (in thai) you want japanese or english?
N: hey ro, you want japanese or english?
R: uhhhhhhhhhhh both? *she sorts through porn, selects DVBDs, pays.*
Dodgy man: (in thai, to ness) so do you have a boyfriend?)
Ness: um... ye- *afraid that he'll ask her if she wants to buy some porn for her boyfriend or pose in a movie or somethign equally distasteful, she says*uhh... noo.....????
Dodgy man: oh. but you're so cute.................. can i be your boyfriend.........?
N: um.......... no....... thanks....... bye......... *to ro adn vick* WALK. AWAY.QUICKLY.
*laughing* R and V: ooooooookkkkkkkk. *walks away*
N: NOT. QUICKLY. ENOUGH.

10:00pm An Irish Pub

Lee Shamrock: *singing* oh when i went home on Sunday night, as drunk as drunk could be............
N: *quietly, under her breath, to vick*I WANT TO HAVE LEE SHAMROCK'S BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!

He signed our coasters! Whiskey is fucking expensive at irish pubs!

11:30pm Khao San

We met stupid new zealand men who got us into Lava but then asked US to buy THEM drinks! Chur! We made a quick getaway and ran down teh road. Then. 5 minutes later. walking down thE road teh other way, we ran into them again. luckily, we were able to doge into The Club to escape them. Then we sat on the curb and drank beer with some thai band called SUBVANE. fun.

R: I'M SO HORNY!
Random men: whaaaaaaaaaa?????
R: *walks quickly away*
N: I saw some guys back there, ro. you shoudl make friends.
R and V: OOOOOOOOOHHHH Where????

12:00am In Immortal, dancing with fun Israeli boys.

Vick goes off into corner after making seductive come hither gestures to him. sexxy vixen! Ro is being attacked by bandanna boy and ness is just bored. they leave vick adn go back to lava.

R: *to vick, upon leaving her* IF YOU FUCKING LEAVE I WILL CUT OUT YOUR FUCKIGN OVARIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12:05 am In Lava

Ro finds herself a nice Tibetan Monk to make out with. Ness drinks more whiskey with his friend, then dances a bit by herself after....

Tibetan monk's tibetan friend: *looking at ro and tibetan monk* so. is it ok maybe if we kiss too?
N: um. no. i'm just going to dance, ok?
Tibetan monk's tibetan friend: oh. ok, then. more whiskey?
N: pretends to drink some, then hands glass to rosie....

12:29 am In Immortal

Ian the Israeli: My friends don't want to stay here but I don't want to leave you
V: We can go to Lava. As long as I find Ness and Ro AS SOON AS WE GET THERE it should be okay *leaves with Ian and the two guys that were hitting on ness and rosie*

12:30 am In Lava

N: FUCK IT ROSIE THE ISRAELIS ARE HEREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
R: *looks up from mackin' with tibetan monk.* FUCK!!!!!!!!!

We both ran out of that club SOOOOOOOOOO fast...................... Little did we know that Vicki was right behind the Israeli boys we were fleeing.....

12:30 am and 3 seconds. In immortal.

R: WHERE THE FUCK IS VICKI?????????????????????
Meanwhile in Lava
V:I have to go back to immortal to find my friends
Ian: okay I'll go with you *both head for the door*

12:30 am and 10 seconds. In Lava. Next to the door.

N: *sees vick* WE HAVE TO GO VICK! NOW!
V: *to ian* we have to go. *gets hot goodbye kiss. ro pulls her into the street.*

12:31 am

We ran down khao san road. we FLEW. because somewhere.... we knew... there we two New Zealanders, five Israelis and two Tibetans out for us........ And that's just the people we'd met in the last hour!

N: *power walking down the road* there are some brit guys in that bar, go ro, go!
*we walk up to the table next to them. ro works her friendly magic (cleavage) and we join them*

ANDY, RICH AND MIKE ARE SOOOOOOOOO COOL!

R: and hot!
N: Haahahahaha yorkshire pudding....... hahahahaha.........
V: for THIS you make me leave my israeli?????????????????????????????????

we chatted for an hour and then all went to burger king for fries. we met brad. he was australian. and high. and licking ketchup out of a coffee lid. the yorkies went for falafel and we talked a bit more/ tra la la la.

N:BEST NIGHT EVER WE FUCKING MET LEE SHAMROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

R: BEST NGIHT EVER I BOUGHT PORN AND GOT TO SECOND WITH A TIBETAN MONK!

V: BEST NIGHT EVER IAN BIT MY TONGUE!

PARTY PROFILES!!!

Rosie:

Likes to take shots of really dodgy vodka. By the side of teh road. Hey, 60 baht cocktails rock! (60 baht=$1.50) Then likes to drink vodka and coke. Then a B52 (Which I should NOT have encouraged)

And then vodka and sprite.

Silly Rosie.

She then likes to smoke a bit, yumyum. Then vomits in the foyer. Bryan does NOT let it go that he got some on his hand. Ness takes care of Rosie, who then wakes up with vomit up her nose.

Ness:

Likes to stay sober and walk up and down the road. Decides to have a B-52 with rosie.  Likes to have rosie translate the word "ganga"for her.

likes to chase Canadian man who has "ganga".

Smokes quite a bit at Tanyas but does NOT get high. Smokes vicki's poorly rolled blunts. 

Helps rosie clean up her vomit. Holds rosie's hair with one hand and smokes a blut with the other. Disappears in taxis for food. Rinsed the vomit out of rosie's hair.

moral of the story***Ness is the best person ever!!!! i owe her BIG!!

Vicki:

Drinks whiskey and coke like an old man addicted to caffiene. Enjoys pinching guys' asses.

RANDOM EUROPEAN GUYS' ASSES.

Sometimes they think she's a pickpocket. But that's OK!!! Flirts Madly with Bryan, Jenner, Mark, Damien, Adolpho....etc.

Oh.

And Georgie.

Who is a girl.

(Cue 'RESBIANS!!' from Clark) anyway. Jenner teaches her to roll a blunt. She enjoys this very much and is rather proud of it. Ness snatches it away to smoke. (It is rather good. Falls apart quickly, but smooth going in my poor, poor lungs...)

Likes to burst in on Ro and Ness in the Bathroom. (Cocks head to one side - 'ARE YOU OK?' yeah.... 'OK! I LEARNED HOW TO ROLL POT!' good for you vick, good for you...)

---------------------------------------------------------------

**Jenner got Tanya's dog High.
** Never go walking down a deserted neighborhood street with a shady brit stoner who looks like Ali G. And then tell the taxi driver to take you to food. And let him drive you 10 freakin' blocks to get a bowl of noodles.
** Never drink 5 shots within an hour. Rosie hath learned her lesson.
** Bryan is afraid of the dark, haha.

---------------------------------

At khao san.

R: (to ganja man) you look like you're having fun
Ganja Man: yeah, yeah, just partying it up... (Cheers his cup of dodgy liquor) I've come with my girl actually. (points to daughter.)
All: Oh.
Ganja Man: Oh, and this is my boyfriend.
boyfriend: nice to meet you girls.
all: nice to meet you (shakes hand)
Ganja man: yeah, do you have the time? I'm just waiting to pick up a big order of ganja....
vicki: (in head) UNFIT FATHER! UNFIT FATHER!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

day after, In the car.

R: will they have buttons at silom?
N: Buttons?
R: buttons
N: buttons?
R: buttons.
N: bags?
R: BUTTONS!
N: ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, buttons! No.

------------------------------------------

TALLIES FOR THE NIGHT

Vodka Shots - 11
Whiskey shots - 3
Whiskey and cokes - 1
Guys Danced With - 6
HOT guys danced with - 4
Sleezy guys danced with - 1
Showers taken with clothes on - 1

-------------------------------------------------

Fun people we met! ---> Anna, Ed, Edward, Tom, Tom, Thomas, Richard, Jason, Andro, Gaultier, Michael, Jenner, Morton, Jim, Sunny

-------------------------------------------------

Below are 15 events that actually happened. For each of the three of us, five apply. There are some overlaps, but none are false. Can you guess who did what???? Post your answers.

WHO......?

1. Was asked by a fun Brit named Tom to accompany him to a hotel room?
2. Did some serious grinding and ass grabbing...after the club had closed and the lights had come up?
3. Continued to dance madly after the music stopped?
4. Danced alone on an empty stage?
5. Freak danced with a hot blonde German...girl?
6. Pulled her shirt down in an effort to get into a club? (It worked...)
7. Gave a HAND JOB to a guy IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING STREET!!???
8. Chain smoked with three French guys, one of whose name was 'Gaultier?'
9. Made out with the same guy as her best friend?
10. Got drunk for the first time?
11.Woke up next to a 'boy,' but didn't fall asleep next to one...?
12. Fell off the stage onto a poor German chick?
13. Drank 80 proof whiskey?
14. Passed out?
15. Was called an 'American Bombshell?'

----------------------------------------------------------------

At Dinner, THE NIGHT AFTER

Ness' Dad: Oh, so my friend The Judge wants to take all of us to this pub. You know, It'd be a good experience for you three.
*Sniggers from all.*
Ness: Um... Sounds... cool.
Ness' Dad: It should be a lot of fun, something new for you guys...
All: Errr....

Later, at the pub.... *Crappy music playing achy-breaky heart.*

Waiter: COCKTAIL! You wanna cocktail?
Ness' Dad: You guys can get something to drink if you want. How about some wine cooler?
Ness: That stuff is only 5% alcohol.
Ness' Dad: Yeah, but you can still get drunk off that stuff....